The nice part about being a pessimist is that you are constantly being either proven right or pleasantly surprised.
- George F. Will

You can pretend to be serious; you can't pretend to be witty.
- Sacha Guitry

When a person can no longer laugh at himself, it is time for others to laugh at him.
- Thomas Szasz

In politics, absurdity is not a handicap.
- Napoleon Bonaparte

No man is exempt from saying silly things; the mischief is to say them deliberately.
- Michel de Montaigne

The people cannot look to legislation generally for success. Industry, thrift, character, are not conferred by act or resolve. Government cannot relieve from toil. It can provide no substitute for the rewards of service. It can, of course, care for the defective and recognize distinguished merit. The normal must care for themselves. Self-government means self-support.

- Calvin Coolidge

There is nothing worse than aggressive stupidity.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

There is no reciprocity. Men love women, women love children, children love hamsters.
- Alice Thomas Ellis

My definition of an expert in any field is a person who knows enough about what's really going on to be scared.
- PJ Plauger

I wish more people would acknowledge this..

The time to stop talking is when the other person nods his head affirmatively but says nothing.
- Henry S. Haskins

Thomas Jefferson once said, 'We should never judge a president by his age, only by his works.' And ever since he told me that, I stopped worrying.
- Ronald Reagan (1911 - 2004)